Questioning Everything

Question:

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

Answer:

I chose this question because it is uncomfortable for me right now.  There is one major thing I haven't done.  It's not something I necessarily want to do, but I feel it's something that I need to do.

I have never lived alone.

I haven't been without a man (boyfriend/husband/whatever) since I was fourteen years old.  I've gone from one to the next to the next.  In that whole process, I never really gave myself the opportunity to discover just who I am.  I've always lived for the other person.  Not that it was a bad thing.  It just wasn't something that allowed me to grow as me. 

What held me back?  To be brutally honest, I'd have to say fear.  Since I haven't been alone, I don't know how to do it.  It is counter-productive to the life that I want to live.  I am a non-confrontational person, and always relied on the man to do those things that might require a heavier voice.  Where I am okay with trying my hand at things that require heavy lifting, power tools, etc., there is really only so much I can do (I'm working on those muscles, though!).

I have finally taken the steps needed to remedy this situation, despite how difficult it is for me to do.  It wasn't an easy decision for me to make, to break ties that I so desperately wanted to hold.  But, I had to be honest, for myself, but for him, as well.  Because, truth be told, I think the desperation was more a fear of being alone than anything else.

There is so much more that goes into that whole line of thought, but it is not for here.   For here is the fact that I have identified what I needed to do, and have finally done it.  It may be late in the years for it, but better late than never, right?

I'm letting go.


Question found at:  http://sobadsogood.com/2012/05/28/30-questions-that-will-change-the-way-you-think/

Question:
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Answer:

The immediate answer that came to mind on this one was to never make new ones, because we are defined by our past.  I also had read it right after answering the previous question, so that whole idea was still fresh in my mind. 

However, upon further deliberation, I decided that I would rather lose all of my old memories.  I think that it would be impossible to go on living with anything that resembled a "good" existence if I could no longer remember anything new.  I would never be able to grow.  I would be stuck at that point, and would never go any further, so again I ask: "What would be the point?".   If I could only make new memories, and remember nothing of the past, at least I could reinvent myself, and move forward; continue on. 




Question found at:  http://sobadsogood.com/2012/05/28/30-questions-that-will-change-the-way-you-think/

Question:

   "If you could spend one year in perfect happiness but afterward would remember nothing of the experience would you do so?  If not, why not?"


Answer:

  Absolutely not.  People grow from their experiences, whether they be good or bad.  If you cannot remember what happened, then what is the point?  Sure, it would be fantastic while you lived it, but you would gain absolutely nothing as a result.  One of the great things about happy memories are the comfort they give you, even in times of great strife.  They remind you that good things happen- that there is beauty and hope in the world.  If I cannot remember that, then did it ever really exist in the first place? 







*This question was taken from "The Book of Questions" by Gregory Stock